Bored Medical Submariner – Oh oh

In my Navy days on a Trident Submarine I was the one and only medical person on board.  I would often be very bored because crew so healthy.  Dangerous combination boredom and the only medical person.  I noticed one day that the brand of pyridium (a urinary anesthetic) looked very similar to the multi-vitamins all the crew asked me to provide them.  Pyridum turns urine bright fluorescent orange.  So one day I put 1 Pyridium capsule in every bottle of multi-vitamins.  At the start of the patrol when we were underway I gave a lecture on health and just added in the lecture that one of the first signs of HIV was your urine would turn bright orange.  Hey no other medical person to correct me and no internet for crew to check.  I then passed out bottles of multi-vitamins and sat back and waited.  Didn’t take long but one by one I started having crew members come to me all in a panic worried that they might have HIV.  I’d then get to play, examine them, practice my blood taking skills, and then later assure them they didn’t have it and also let them in on my practical joke.  They thought it very devious and some would hover near the sick bay door to see others panic and how they secretly come see me.  No one ever gave the ruse away and it never got old….uh, for me that is.